I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
