I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize