So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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