A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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