Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
