five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
