the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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