yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she woke up with a sticky ear
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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