i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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