Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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