drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
