how can u be prego again
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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