one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you made out with another girl for some wings
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize