Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
