Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
