bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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