I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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