so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
