Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize