you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
