I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was like eating out sand paper
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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