I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
