Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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