I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN