we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.