I wannas sexs uuuuu
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i think i have two assholes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?