I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
