Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (961) Bad night (2235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever! http://tfl.nu/5efq
  Replies (14) Good night (842) Bad night (2635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z
  Replies (15) Good night (4639) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/c7jp
  Replies (48) Good night (653) Bad night (6041) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut http://tfl.nu/i4w4
  Replies (21) Good night (4682) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces. (618): Disappointment? http://tfl.nu/lu72
  Replies (11) Good night (1313) Bad night (3941)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this. http://tfl.nu/7hr5
  Replies (6) Good night (3159) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4700) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wkek
  Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave. http://tfl.nu/74ql
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please http://tfl.nu/sfv9
  Replies (11) Good night (1235) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed. (1-716): Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money http://tfl.nu/8jhe
  Replies (8) Good night (2603) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it. http://tfl.nu/yofk
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt

Randomize