oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
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You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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