so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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