I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
