No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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