Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
