Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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