Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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