he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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