She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Boobs are out for the taking
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
