I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
