You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
only you would photoshop your dick
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
