just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
