one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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