She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
