GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize