I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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