So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me