It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.