porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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