is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have