That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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