no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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