just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pants are for mortals
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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