I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
