I just made out with a guy for $7.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize