margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
