i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
