Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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