are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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