I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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