I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
