haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
