Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He felt like a one man threesome
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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