I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
