please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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