Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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