do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
