Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
