are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
