She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
