Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
