I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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